Category Archives: Miscellaneous Musings!

Being Grandparents – 2

This post is a continuation  from the earlier post (Being Grandparents) as the previous one was becoming a tad bit busy.

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Text: (Wednesday 09 April 2008).  

Grandma went yesterday to Ottawa with Sitara and her mom.  It was Grandpa’s birthday and the family had decided to celebrate that with dinner and a cake in the evening after they come back from Ottawa.

Grandma regaled the story of how they went shopping at Bayshore Shopping mall and she carried Sitara in her hands while going all over. She was amazed that she did not get tired by doing so as Sitara was very adjusting and charming. Grandma was all enthused with the story of Sitara meeting with few   ladies with their babies – all at the mall for shopping. Sitara was very social and would extend her hands to other babies especially to one  baby boy. She really charmed the other mothers so much that  a couple of them were saying that  they would like to take her home – of course a loving but just fun  offer.

Sitara with her mom and Grandma arrived back at Deep River by 5.00 pm and at that time we were joined by her dad (who just came from his workplace) .

We had a good family dinner and a cutting of the Grandpa’s birthday cake (a small one) . Sitara also touched Grandpa to wish him a Happy Birthday. She in fact helped Grandpa to extinguish the candle.

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Addition to the Text: (Friday 18 April 2008).  

After our trip to Toronto (between 10 April &  returning   back on Tuesday 15 April), we had misssed playing with Sitara. She did come home on Thursday April 17 and we had a  wonderful time with Sitara. She just was playful and we babysit her and have her parents go and enjoy the play Good, Bad & Nerdy at the Mackenzie High . Sitara was a doll and at 7.10 p.m (after   playiing few hours) just snuggled up to Grandpa and went to sleep so quietly in his hands.

Sitara and her parents are going on vacation (outside Canada) – starting from tomorrow (Saturday 19 April) . So we will again miss her for another week but this will be her first   Air Travel . Isn’t that exciting!   We (Grandpa and Grandma) went to Mackay on to-day to play with   her the whole day and also to allow her mother relaxed time to pack for the vacation trip. Sitar just lapped us up in her playful shennenigans. She has now started to crawl going in front. She was crawling last week but going backwards. It was really fantastic to take her video of crawling and just playing with   her toys and with us.   Grandpa managed to find space and time to read her a kid book (Ted is sad,  bad and sad).

Now at late afternoon they have gone by car to Ottawa and spend some time with her mom’s friend before going to airport for checking in for the flight.

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Addition to the Text: (Tuesday 29 April 2008).  

Sitara and her parents returned from their vacation on Saturday 26 April. They had been to Dominican Republic  . Wow, Sitara had a trip by plane and that to a vacation spot.

Grandparenst waited long for them to arrive home from Ottawa but the parents spent time in Ottawa for shopping and then dinner . Thus they came to Deep River after 9.00 p.m and Sitara was asleep in the car  . Nina & Sunjay stopped for a short while before they went to thier home in Mackay.   next day being Sunday, we did not visit them to allow for them to recover from their travel.

Grandparents ( that is me & Jackie) went to Mackay on Monday afternoon to play with Sitara. She was just a star – enjoying herself with us and making   all kinds of calling sounds and she being mobile (crawling ), Sitara just went about playing with her toys spread in the living room.   We also saw her photos from the trip.She just lapped up her beach and pool fun things at the resort. The photos are a good memory of her successful trip and fun in the sand.

On Tuesday, she came to Grandparents home to visit  and stay with them for a couple of hours when her parents went to Petawawa for an errand. At that time , she got a gift (for successful trip to Dominican Republic) from the grandparents . A set of Zwilling J.A. Henckels kiddie spoon set . She just adored it and made us all very happy.

I am sure as she grows and start eating her food by herself, this spoon set will be much used.

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Addition to the Text: (Tuesday  06  May 2008)

Sitara came to grandparents’ home on Friday (02 May) . She was as always a doll – tiny and petite but well built structure .

She just took the house as the playground – crawling all over. She crawls a bit on one knee only and that  gives her a cute look.   She sits up like  a rabbit which is soooo loving and gives a subtke smile.

In the afternoon, after her lunch – sitting on a high chair unit (tied to one of the chairs) – Sitara when completed her lunch was being removed from the high chair.   Both Grandpa and dad were downstairs in the Rec room . We heard a loud scream (from her mom) as Sitara flung herself (tethered to  the high  chair)  -inadvertantly though – on to the floor. Luckily she was well tied to the high chair and thus no injury was sustained.

However she got a bit shocked with the shrill agonising sound from her mother. It seems the  high chair where it was tied to the kitchen chair must have become undone.   Luckily all was safe and for Safety, the high chair was retied to the kitchen chair ith very careful inspection so such incident do not happen again. Both Grandpa and   dad came rushing to the kitchen and calmed everyone including mom and grandmom. Sitara was examined for any visible or invisible injury but she was fine after some crying and much loving from all .

On Saturday, Sitara went for swimming at the McKenzie High School pool at 9.30 am. Grandparents were to go to Ottawa (to fetch Grandpa’s suit and a rug for the living room) but before they went to Ottawa, Grandpa decided to take detour to the swimming pool and watch Sitara enjoying herself. She likes water and was just easy flapping her feet and hands . Her mom gave her a dive in water and Sitara just enjoyed it. All smile and no crying.   Good for her. Well the grandparents left early before the swimming session was over.

On Monday 05 May, Grandparents baby-sit Sitara as her mom had to go to Petawawa for her gym class – the whole morning till 1.00 pm. It was a wonderful time for grandparents. She was such a charm – endearing herself to the grannies. She played with toys (and with balls too). Grandma had revived some toys from bygone days (the toys her mom had used when she   grew up) -Sitara played with old Fisher Price xylophone, stacking units, and the top   – all in good condition.

She explored the whole floor – living room, dining room and kitchen – all on her fours – crawling. She showed a keen interest in anything she found.

In the evening her dad came to help in placing the new rug in the living room. Both mom & dad were busy moving furniture and opening the rug and finally spreading it in the living room.

Grandpa-recovering from his recent surgery – took it easy and looked after Sitara. Sitara just was very accommodative in Grandpa’s lap and watching her parents -both working to spread the new rug. Grandma was there too – guiding for getting all things at right places.

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Addition to the Text: (Tuesday  13  May 2008)

Today Sitara came to Deep River after her FEN class.

We did play with her yesterday at Mcakay on our way back from Windsor (where we went last week to attend an Engineering event). We had found that she has started to learn walking -with the help of the walker – she just loves it. She is kind of in a hurry to move around on her own. She was  as always very playful. I got to feed her a bit – though I hand over the most part to her grandma.

Today, she was in Deep River for the whole day. Grandpa played with her for an hour or so during the day.

Her mom and grandma then took her for  walk in a stroller – went to Morison School area to check out kids playground and type of swings for a toddler. The swings were not found suitable for 9 month sweet and soft girl  . They will have to search a bit more at other parks.

They also went to the grocery  store in town . Sitara graduated to sit on the grocery cart without any tie-up belts etc. -though closely watched by her mom and grandma. She just lapped it up and enjoyed shopping.

Grandma got  to play with her more and look after her when Sitara’s parents went for their gym class ay Petawawa. Grandpa was unfortunately busy in the evening with engineering meeting and then to his duplicate bridge game.

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Addition to the Text: (Saturday  17 May 2008).

Today Sitara went for her swimming class (9.00 am to 9.30 am) at McKenzie High with her parents. This was her graduating day for the season. She did well . After swimming, as usual,  she came to her grandparents home and got her bath (so as to remove any chlorine etc from the swim).

Her  grandpa got a lesson for changing her and also to look after her (thus allow more time to her mom & grandma to spend time together)

Sitara has taken well to toys of different types. She likes to play with a small (yellow) ball – a tennis ball size.     She also started to play with block sorter and have found how to open various doors to remove blocks from their compartments.

She also stood on her feet without any support for a few seconds .

Pravin Shah

 

Mother’s day -2008

This year’s mother’s day is a special for our family. Nina (our daughter) will be with her new born baby daughter (Sitara) – and our first grandchild and celebrate her first mother’s day with a party for her and Sunjay’s friends at their residence in Mackay.

Nina & Sitara have established an excellent bond between themselves. Nina is always talking to Sitara in a very understanding way and always calls her a “lady’ and exudes love when playing or talking or giving her nourishments. Nina remains very active to take Sitara to outside activities such as attending FEN sessions and taking her to swimming. Nina just beams when with Sitara . We grandparents are very proud the way Nina is really with Sitara and finds her a very good company at all times. Between all this Nina  also  provides all the space to Sitara’s dad as he also is very fond of Sitara and looks after her  needs (be that feeding her, playing with her or taking her to swimming   etc,) Sitara is very fortunate to have such loving parents who are bonded with her.

We , the grandparents, will be away to Windsor for attending an Engineering event.

We were not quite removed from the Mother’s Day celebration. When we travelled to Windsor on Wednesday 07 May, we stopped at Mackay to play with Sitara. Oh! she was wonderful – crawling on her fours and occassionally sitting on her feet (hunched like a “rabbit) and like in a prayer mode.   She would give the most broadest of smiles and clap her tender hands in joyous burst.

Well, the Mother’s Day was coming and what must be going in her mind. She is already a good 9 months  old   and recognising her mom & dad but also her grandparents well.

Here is our observation and sentiments – all crafted in the our Neon car while driving to Windsor.

 Nina,

Bless your beloved heart forever Sitara

Sitara is gift to cherish forever

A HAPPY 1st Mother’s Day to you

dad & mom

The following is Sitara’s sentriments as observed.

A thankful infant – an imagery !

On that Special Day

Sitara sat in her “rabbit” pose

Hunched on her feet, in a prayer mode

the heart oozing

“HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY”

Clapping lovingly with her soft hands

With her warmest and joyous smile.

An Observant     (her granddad)

Book Reading – Eternal Ganesha

General Comment:As mentioned earlier on my April 19 2007 post, I have embarked on writing a few words on all the books that I may read in my retirement. I will reread few books which I read over last few years – this to allow me to capture some good essence from the readings.

The recent book I have completed reading is a book titled “Eternal Ganesha” by Gita Mehta. This book, we purchased from the bookstore at the Royal Ontario Museum (Toronto) when we visited the place on Friday April 11.

This is a large hard cover book with very many different pictorial images of Lord Ganesha. However, the book is short with 128 pages. The narrative and description by the author is really very thought provoking.

In India, the idols and images of Lord Ganesha (one of the Hindu Gods) are everywhere . Lord Ganesha is elephant-headed and has a bit larger pot-bellied body of   a man.

Lord Ganesha is perhaps the most popular god in the Hindu pantheon, the elephant-headed Ganesha is known by many names.

Ganesha represents hope, optimism and goodwill and is Lord of Success.

Thus He is invoked first when Hindus venture on any substantive activity.

It is good book for reflection of human endeavours and need for some  higher cosmic support  . Lord Ganesha fulfills the need and hope for success.

In Eternal Ganesha, the author, Gita Mehta, provides chapters for each of Ganesha’s characteristics.

The book is presented in such a way that it is a good coffee table book and would definitely generate intense and spiritual conversation.

Pravin Shah

Book Reading – The Great Gatsby

General Comment:As mentioned earlier on my April 19 2007 post, I have embarked on writing a few words on all the books that I may read in my retirement. I will reread few books which I read over last few years – this to allow me to capture some good essence from the readings.

The recent book I have completed reading is a book by that great American writer F. Scott Fitzgerald . The book is  titled The  Great Gatsby.. This book that i read was a   short  paperback (some  189 pages long).

I read the book in Toronto while visiting my son, Sunir. We went to Toronto to celebrate my 68th birthday; for which Sunir had bought me & wife a present – tickets for  an Indian  musical (by Udit & Aditya Narayan – on Saturday April 12 ) . Infact,  he and his fiancee also joined with us to attend the musical.

This book is one of many in Sunir’s library. He reads voraciously – books of various topics.

The Great Gatsby is a classsic which portrays American life in the early twentieth century. The story is about the fabulously wealthy Jay Gatsby and his love for the beautiful Daisy Buchannan ( married to Tom Buchannon). Thebook is acclaimed by generations of readers.

F. Scott Fitzgerald was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1896 and attended the Princeton University. He published his first novel (The Side of Paradise) in 1920.

The Great Gatsby became a standard in Ameraican schools.

Pravin Shah

Being Grandparents!

On Sunday 5th August 2007, my wife and I  became grandparents. This is our first grandchild. The joy of becoming grandparents  is so exhilarating that the arrival of Sitara, a beautiful daughter born to our daughter Nina  and her husband, Sunjay Mistry  (our loving son-in-law) is just pure ecstasy to us. This is  even beyond the joy of arrival of our own children many years ago.

Many become grandparents at younger age but for us this event has happened at an advanced age (67 years ) and interestingly enough after only a few months   after my retirement from work.   The grand daughter will have a special place in our hearts and will help us pass  our retirement gainfully.

 

Sitara came to this world at 9.05 am on Sunday 5th August 2007 at the Ottawa General Hospital. Both Nina and daughter are doing fine. Sitara has cuddled with her daddy, met her maternal grandparents (my wife and myself) and met  & played with  her uncle Sunir (Nina’s brother — our son)   and his girlfriend, Shannon.

 

Sitara has embedded herself into our souls minaret.

I am sure that she will give us many years of fun and pleasure as well as she will make us proud in all things that she will   accomplish in this world.

 

Welcome dear grandchild – you will be our star and focus for everything for sometime to come.

 

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Addition to the text: (Friday 10 August, 2007) -on her sixth day of birth, Sitara’s “Chhathi” (ceremony on sixth day of her birth) was held at Mackey (at her home). It is an Indian (Hindu) tradition to worship & thank God for such a gift to the family and also seek blessing from Goddesss Sarawati ( Goddess of Learning and Intelligence) to chart  future for the new born baby. Also at this time the baby is named in front of the Gods (and also a diya -lighted candle) . The ceremony was a private one with Sitara’s parents, and grandparents (maternal)  present. Sitara’s uncle, Sunir, was also present along with his girlfriend, Shannon.

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Addition to the text: ( Monday 13 August, 2007).   Sitara, our lovely granddaughter, along with her proud parents (Sunjay & Nina) visited our residence (in Deep River)in the afternoon at the age of only 9 days. Her first visit to her garndparents!!! She was ever so enthralling  and captivating.  

She was presented to Shree Jalaram ( the main oil painting in the Family Room) and I am sure was blessed by Him.

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Addition to the text: (Friday 24 August, 2007).  

This  was a very happy day for me ( maternal grandpa). You know why?. I had the opportunty to feed Sitara this evening ( at 5.45 pm) at her parents home in Mackay.   Sitara has reverted to a formula feeding after a couple of weeks of mothers milk. This provided a opening for the grandpa to cajole her and feed her the bottle. Oh! she was very well behaved and took to her feeding royally and finished her 4 oz. in a very gracious manner.   As during all feeds of a very tender baby, one must allow her breaks during her feed to  let her burp and clear any gas. Sitara did a royal burp and  also a release of gas half way during her feed. She was just a happy girl. Grandpa was very satisfied with  Sitara for letting him to feed her.   She then was in playful mood but we left for Deep River so that her parents (Nina & Sunjay) can be with her.

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Addition to the Text ( 5th September 2007)-  

Today Sitara becomes 1 month of age. She has developed according to waht is required . She now looks and hears at us. She gave me   a fabulous smile yesterday when we were visiting her.   Her Garndma (paternal side) arrived from England yesterday to hug and pamper Sitara. She (Sitara) just took to her immediately. I guess blood relation.

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Addition to the Text (6th September 2007)-  

I have noted (since some time – roughly when she was 2 1/2 weeks old) that Sitara responds and becomes quite attentive (even if she was crying – she will stop crying) when I sing to her the song ” Rammeya vasta vya Rammeya vasta vya” – from Indian movie Shree 420. It may be babys respond to male voice at this age. I am not a good singer but I  can modulate the song in my way for Sitara. This response by Sitara is noted by all in the family and really makes me very happy.  

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Addition to the Text (12th September 2007)-  

Tomorrow Sitara goes to Toronto – a first long journey for her – to attend a wedding from her dad’s side.  This will be an experience for Sitara but for her parents (and also her paternal Grandma) too   – how to attend a social function with baby in tow.  It must be    noted that Sitara did have her first outside visit to Storyland ( on Hwy 17 near Renfrew) last week on Saturday (8th Sepptember 2007). She was taken there by her parents and paternal Grandma (who is visiting her from U.K.)

 

Note: Sitara returned back at Mackay on Sunday after attending the wedding in Toronto. She enjoyed that visit as she met lot of her relatives. She was well behaved and kept her cool most of the time.

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Addition to the Text (20 September 2007)-  

Yesterday, she came to Deep River for her bi-weekly visit to the Doctor. She did do well with normal weight increase. She is now 6 weeks old and have started responding with smiles and sounds. This day she also has other plans. She wanted to train her Grandpa for taking her out in her stroller for   neighborhood walk. Grandpa went with Sitara and her mom for a walk at about 5.00 pm. Grandpa enjoyed taking Sitara out and he pushed the stroller well. She met the next door baby (Jordan) who is   few months older than Sitara. Sitara also met Pharmacy staff and other townfolks.

She also met her dad outside his work place.   After some shopping at the Pharmacy, she returned home (at about 6.05 p.m) exhibiting  great satisfaction on her face.   A great outing and learning for Grandpa.

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Addition to the text: (22 September, 2007)

An open House was held at Mackey (at Sitara’s residence) for introducing Sitara to family members and  friends in the area. The Open House was held between 1.00 pm and 4.00 pm. There were some 50 people attended to welcome Sitara on this good earth.  Sitara was looking splendid in her embroidered dress and she was an epitome of contented and well behaved child.  She played at the start of the afternoon and first time showed activities which included trying to grab floating toys above her head. After that  she slept thru most of the afternoon even though there was much chattering going on from her well wishers  .

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Addition to the Text: (Saturday, 29 September 2007)

Sitara attended her first party (Baby Shower) outside of home held by Nina’s workplace colleagues  . The party was in the evening from 6.00 pm. Sitara came to our home, for a short while, after  the party at about 9.30 pm.

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Addition to the Text : (Monday, 1 October 2007)

This is the day Sitara accompanied her paternal Grandma (currently visiting from England) and her parents to visit North Bay to show her Grandma the touristy things around.

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Addition to the Text: (Wednesday  03 October  2007)

Today was the day for vaccination. Nina took Sitara to Doctor’s office  for her first vaccination in life. In order to ease the pain  just before the vaccination, she was fed a little sugary water.

The vaccination was for 1) Diphtheria 2) Tetanus 3) Pertussies 4) Polio-IPV 5) Hib 6) Pneomo Conjugate.

Nina brought Sitara to our home after the vaccination. She is fast asleep in the car seat at this time ( 1.30pm)

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Addition to the Text: (Friday  05 October  2007)

Today Sitara became 2 months old   (having born on 5 August 2007). She spent the day travelling to Ottawa to accompany her paternal Grandma (Hasmukhben) to the airport as her Grandma was returning back to U.K. after spending 1 month here in Canada to cuddle and play with Sitara.  Sitara went with  her mom & Grandparents (maternal) to the airport to say farewell and Bon Voyage to  the Grandma from U.K.

Sitara was all attentive , smiled a lot, played with her Grandma at the Ottawa Airport prior to Granma taking leave and entering the inner area of the Airport to get on the Air Canada plane.

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 Addition to the Text: (Sunday 21 October 2007)

Sitara & her mother have spent a night in Deep River at Grandparents home. This visit was facilitated as her daddy has gone to U.K. (for afew days) on office business since Monday 15 October 2007. Sitara have become accustomed to Granddad’s unique way of singing and making lyrics which go well with her. Sitara seems to enjoy this new phase of interaction with her maternal Grandpa (nana -in Gujarati Language). One of the rhythemic chants goes like 1-nana, 2-nana, 3-nana,4-nana,5-nana & 6-nana. At her current age (10 weeks or so) , the chant does not go beyond 6 numerals. The obvious variation to chant is 1-daddy, 2-daddy etc or 1-mummy,2-mummy etc, 1-nani, 2-nani etc (nani is maternal Grandma in Gujarati language) orfinally 1-nunu, 2-nunu etc. The “nunu” is the word we gave to the soother that Sitara sometimes have in her mouth. This “nunu” word was created by her Grandparents when Sitara’s mum was a baby (in the late 1970s).

Note: The day before (on Saturday 20 October 2007), Sitara’s maternal uncle (Sunir) got engaged to Shannon. Sitara was informed and just gave a charming smile -though I do not think she understood what was said. I think she responded to her Grandpa’s happiness & subtle smile on his face.

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Addition to the text: (20 November, 2007)

This week Sitara had more adventure. First she had a ride to North Bay with her mom and us (Grandparents) on Wednesday 14 November, 2007 . She got her first encounter with the Santa Clause at NorthGate mall and her first photo with  the Santa Clause  .

Then she has gone to Torntoto attend her second wedding since she was born  . The wedding is for Priyanka , a daughter of one of our friends in Deep River. Priyanka is also a friend of Sitara’s mom. They have stayed back in Toronto as they will attend an Engagement party for  one of her dad’s cousins duirng coming weekend.

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Addition to the text: (06 December  2007)

 Yesterday Wednesday  05 December 2007   was the day for her second round of vaccination.   The first shots were given on Wednesday 03 October  2007. Nina took Sitara to Doctor’s office  for her  second vaccination in life.   Her dad also accompanied her for this vaccination.

After vaccination Sitara came to our house with her mom. She was asleep and took the vaccination in her   stride. Once   she woke    up, she remained very fresh   and smiling and playful.

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Addition to the text: (Wednesday –    12 December  2007)

The preparation for Christmas Holidays are going   at a frantic step. Grandma has put up the tree and decorated it. There is  a new enthusiasm this year as Sitara is amidst us.   Every year since the kids  (Nina & Sunir) left home for studies and then for workforce, the Christmas decorations were getting slimmer and slimmer.But now that our granddaughter (Sitara) is amongst us, it is providing a lot of excitement.   I wrote a Letter to Editor  for the local newspaper (North Renfrew Times)  and it was published on Wednesday 12 December, 2007.

The letter is reproduced here.

Joy of Christmas


The whole world has metamorphosed to a wonderful world for the coming Christmas holidays   ”“ that is how I feel.   This is the first year; I am not working for my family”™s upkeep. This has kept me away from the hustle and bustle as well as merry-go-round cacophony of the office emergencies. The emergencies have a way of sprouting during important holidays.
  
The recent news ( in the papers and on radio) about disruption to the supply of medical radioisotopes is a case in point. This does make me to sit up but not in the context of any workplace effort required but from concern for our fellow citizens who may need diagnosis using the radioisotopes.  
  
We have been celebrating Christmas since we migrated to Canada from Kenya”“ way back in 1974. Our first-born (daughter) arrived that year and Christmas celebration was institutionalized in the household. Even though the celebration is a bit alien to our faith and culture; it resonated well as Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus.   The joy to the world was deeply felt.
  
After that the tradition continued and further strengthened on the arrival of our son. Well, as every parent knows, then those days arrived when both the daughter and the son grew up and one by one went away to their chosen university and then to workplace. The household was full of emptiness. However, every year Christmas tradition was kept alive with the hope that the kids will come home on Christmas.   Every year there was that unknown lingering on (till about a week or so before the arrival of the actual Christmas holidays) about who would actually come home? Sometimes the tree decoration was well done with great care and details and other times the decorations were left till last minute.
  
The whole world has metamorphosed to a wonderful world this year. We have become grandparents ”“ a new child is born this year. We are blessed with a lovely granddaughter who keeps us smiling all days. The full Christmas tree is back in the living room and Christmas music is on the DVD.   She is only four months and already has taken two vaccinations in her stride. Her smiles are infectious and joyful.
The joy of Christmas is profound when celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.
  I wish all a happy holidays and Merry Christmas.
   ————————————————————————  Addition to the text: (Tuesday –    25 December  2007) The celebration of Christmas this year was split in two parts . One on 25th at our daughter’s place (that is at our granddaughter’s place) and second on 27th at our  residence  in Deep River. Sunir (our son) was home on 23rd. Shennon -his fiancés arrived in the evening of Thursday 27th December. Sitara  had a great time with all the gifts and hugs and plays with Sunir,  Shennon, her parents and  grandparents. The parents were all glow and happy.   This was very fulfilling Christmas for all of us.RESP (Registered Education Saving Plan) for Sitara for 2007 was also commenced . Good ending for 2007 as grandparents. ————————————————- Addition to the text: (Thursday  – 10 January 2008)Last two days Sitara and  her parents have  come to stay with us. With electrical power off in their area in Mackay and also both aparents suffering from  cold , it was thought better to spend time in Deep River. Grandma is delighted and having a great time with Sitara. Sitara is a very charming and loving girl. Always responds to plays and all her toys. She has no cry. She is very discipline girl.   Goes to sleep according to her set rhythm and takes her feeds regulary. Grandpa gets cheered up from her laughs, giggles and various plays. Today, she joined Grandpa in his prayers to Shree  Jalaram  . She  was with her Grandma. —————————————————Addition to the text: (Thursday  –  26 January 2008)Today, Sitara went with  her parents to Pembroke for a portrait. The Grandparents also went to cheer her. She was all very charming and accommodating when various portraits were taken. She won hearts of the photographer  girls and others who had come for their own family portraits. Sitara also got her photos done for passport. She was not supposed to smile and wear darker dress.Sitara can pose so well that our hearts jump with joy.After the portraits we all went for shopping. This time for Grandpa’s new winter coat. After shopping we ended up at the Asian Restaurant in Pembroke for Chinese/Thai dinner. It was a  good ending of the day on the India’s 59th Republic day.——————————————

Addition to the text: (Thursday  –  27 January 2008)

 Today Sitara went for swimming class at the local Deep River swimmimg pool with her mom. Her dad was already gone there earlier for his swimming.

Oh! she is now growing up and taking necessary steps in life.

She is a delight.     Sitara has started to be comfortable with her Granddad since   last few days and always want to be with him and talk with him and play with him. Wow.

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Addition to the text: (Friday  –  9 February 2008)

Today, Sitara and her mom came home after her FEN class. Yesterday also they came after Sitara’s session at her FEN class.I understand that Sitara used the potty first time on Wednesday, 7 February, 2008. She is slowly getting trained for using potty but it will take some time.  She is only 6 months old  and just recently started on solid food ( a little bit at this time).   Good show, Sitara.

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Addition to the text: (Friday  –  10 February 2008)  Today being Sunday, it is swimming class for Sitara at the Mckenzie High School pool in Deep River.   Grandparents decided to go to the pool to cheer and also to enjoy watching Sitara playing in the pool. She was just enjoying herself. It was such a delight to watch her splashing her feet and chasing her small yellow ducky.   Her mom was holding her and leading her all over in a circle in the pool  . There were a total of 10 toddlers in the pool -each with her/his mother or father. Sitara’s dad was outside the pool busy taking her video.A side  note: Sitara got her Canadian passport yesterday. The Government Department proved to be very efficient as the application for passport was done only  on 26 January, 2008.——————————————————Addition to the text: (Thursday    –  21 February 2008)Today, Sitara, my loving grandaughter, came to Pambroke General Hospital to wish her grandpa early recovery from his day surgery on that day. The surgery was for his bilateral inguinal hernia. My surgery was at 9.15 am and i had to present myself at the hospital at 7.15 am. To arrive safely and in time to hospital, we (grandma and myself) stayed Wednesday night in Pembroke  at our friend Mehta’s house.

The bilateral surgery was over by 11.30 am and I was brought to my recovery(resting) area. Sitara came with her mother to   see me and wish good and speedy recovery.     What she did was so   loving and something out of an angel’sbook. She stroked my face a few times ( i think at least four times) and smiled lovingly  as if saying grandpa I love you and you will be okay.   Her moves brought warmth in my heart . We came home (by car – a   distance of about 45 kms) to deep River by 4.00 p.m.

Sitara and her mom stayed with us that day for few hours till I was settled well. Her dad also came after his work and all wished me well again.

On Friday, Sitara and her mom came to visit. The whole family (Sitara, her dad and mum)  stayed with us for a night . Sitara played with me with her making sound from a distance (trying to formulate some kind of words)   and I think helped me in my recovery. I am doing fine on the fifth day of my surgery and hoping to remove dressings tomorrow (Wednesday 27 February, 2008).

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Addition to the text: (Saturday  –  08 March  2008)

 Sitara has now ccmpleted her first round of swimming class at Mckenzie High School pool located in Deep River. She has also had her third vaccination sometomein last few days.

She is now ready for new adventure. She rolls and tries to crawl. She has started taking solid food. She tries to formulate words and is very talkative with her mom and when she visits grandparents home in Deep River, she just lights up. Always mischievious, she gives all kinds  of  positve responses and  entertain grandpa with cheers and cooing. She always enjoy playing with garndma. She trusts her without any rancour.

On Saturday, March 08, 2008 she also particpated in the East Indian Community winter gathering at the Christian Educational Centre located in Deep River.     Oh! she joined in teh game of Musical Chair (of course perched on her dad’s hands) Shw was looking so cute as she showed that she was enjoying the game immensely. She did not win but went as far as she can go (as guided and led by her dad).

This day Deep River (in fact whole of Ottawa Valley) got lots of snow and visibility was very low. Sitara went home to Mackay in car with her parents. Luckily they left a bit early (due to wrning of impending storm) and arrived home safely   (about 11.00 pm).     Sitara was snuggly in her cot when storm was pounding outside.

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 Addition to the text: (Tuesday  –  11 March  2008) Sitara went to Ottawa with her parents. Her dad’s car needed servicing. During this time, Sitara also visited the Bayshore Shopping mall. She got a surprise. She got her ears pierced and got a gift of two nice diamond studs.   My little child is slowly growing up. She looks so cute with studs in her ears.  _________________________________Addition to the text: (Saturday  –  22 March  2008)This weekend is the Easter Weekend – early this year in March.

Sitara came to our house in Deep River with her parents as we had decided to spend time together for the hoildays..

Sitara was as  usual playful and rolling over the blanket on the floor and chasing her toys. She was cooing and also making definitive sound.   To-day she was more concentrating on Ba sound   . I am told that yesterday she was    repeating na na sound.  

Well, she got our traditional 4 inch high hollow -milk chocolate- Easter egg   as gift. This is our household tradition since Nina (her mother was born).   Her mom and dad did not get their Eggs this year as they are keeping  away from sweets.

Sitara really enjoyed the gift- playing with the box and ruffling of plastic wrapping and colorful designs on the box. Of course she cannot eat the chocolet as she is just a  baby of 7 months. But we all ate the chocolet while playing cards.   During that time Sitara was entertainging us by playing with her toys and rolling and and cooing   and giving smiles and waving at her mom.

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 Addition to the text: (Sunday  –  23 March  2008)

 Today- Sitara was participating in a normal East Indian Group social activity. She was all ready with nice clothes and her charming smile to attend a “baby Shower” . Her first.   The baby shower was celebrated for her Priyanka Auntie ( her P.  Masi)  who is expecting a baby in few months.

I did not go as the party was for  the ladies of the Group and few gents (who are very close to Priyanka and her parents).

I am told that Sitara  had a great time as she was cajoled and loved by many of her aunties and girls who were present at the party.

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 Addition to the text: (Thursday  –  27 March  2008)Today, Sitara’s mom and grandma had to go to Chalk River to buy some clothing material as Sitara’s mom is sewing a  sleeping bag for Sitara.

So they left Sitara with me to baby-sit. I was supposed to entertain her, feed her bottle of milk (nicely tucked away in  the thermal bag) and genrally to be a good grandpa. Well, she entertained me with her smiles, plays and generally being a good girl of about 7 1/2 months.

When she was playing with her toys – sitting upright – she made some heavy forcing noises (aghms). I was wondering what  does  that sound means .   The aroma of smell emanating from her made me realise that she had done her No. 2. Now the problem arose as    to how am I going to change her – not done before and a bit uneducated in this department. Also I was a bit uncomfortable to strain myself due to my recent surgery (about a     month back)

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Addition to the text: (Sunday  –  06 April 2008)

Sitara went  to Toronto on Saturday March 29th     with her parents . They went initially  to Brampton for a baby shower (Sumeeta’s) and stayed   with her maternal uncle (Sunir)  on Saturday night and also met   with Shannon.   Then she stayed  at the Courtyard Marriot on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights   with her parents .    After that she went to  Misissasuga at her dad’s uncle (Mamma’s) house from April 3rd to 6th.

 They were back at Mackay on 6th at about 8.30 pm.

  Quite an adventurous   journey for a little baby . I am sure she enjoyed it and absorbed a lot by seeing new things and meeting her relatives and friends of her parents.

Pravin Shah

 

 

   

     

       

           

         

   

       

   

     

   

Hindu Wedding -answer to a budding student for her fashion course.

I got an e-mail (16 March, 2008) requesting help to answer to questions posed by one of Shannon’s  cousins (Lee).

Here is short list of sample questions.

Hey Sunir!

I’m working on my fashion course at home right now and one assignment is to interview someone about wedding customs (mostly clothing) of another culture/religion. Would you be able to answer some questions about Indian marriages for me when you get a chance?   Here they are:-Have you attended a wedding in the Indian culture? -Was this a traditional wedding or something different?   -When did this take place?    -Where was it?
-Is this a typical place of an Indian wedding?

& there were more questions. One will know of all the questions , upon reading my response to ths help

My response (reviewed   by   my wife- (which I copied to Shannon, Nina & Sunjay). I sent the  response (electronically) on 18 March , 2008

     

Hi Sunir,
 
Hey son, I am repeating Lee’s questions below and would follow that as per response -so it becomes easier for her to understand in systematic manner  all answers   that she wants to know.  

     

I think she wanted answers (responses) to be anchored on any wedding attended  by you (or us). I have used Nina/Sunjay   wedding as the one  for actual happenings at a Hindu wedding.
     

In RED colour used for  the Titles which include Lee’s questions
Blue colour used for Nina/Sunjay wedding happenings
Black colour is used  for my general answers and more explanation.
     

Your mom has reviewed the responses.
     

I  have copied the response to Shannon & Nina/Sunjay for their look see. If anyone has a comment they can let me   or you know.
     

 

:):) dad  

     

_______________________________________________________________
     

I’m working on my fashion course at home right now and one assignment is to interview someone about wedding customs (mostly clothing) of another culture/religion. Would you be able to answer some questions about Indian marriages for me when you get a chance? Here they are:
Shannon’s cousin, Lee
     

-Have you attended a wedding in the Indian culture?  

-Was this a traditional wedding or something different?  

-When did this take place?      

 

-Where was it?
-Is this a typical place of an Indian wedding?

-What does the bride wear?
-What does the groom wear?
-What do the guests wear?  

 

-What do the parents of the bride and groom wear?
-What does the wedding party wear?

-Was there an engagement before the wedding?

-If yes, how long was it?

-Are bridesmaids a part of the traditional wedding ceremony in your culture?

-How many bridesmaids does the bride usually have?
-What gifts are typically given?

-How many guests are usually invited to the wedding?
-Who are all these people (how are they related to the couple)?
-Please explain your favourite part of a Jain wedding.
-Are there any symbols used in the wedding? (i.e. ring represents never-ending love)

__________________________________________________________________

see the following site for some FAQs : http://zoltami.com/FAQ.html

________________________________________________

Hi Son,

Here are my comments/observations/understanding on Indian weddings.

General,

1) Indian weddings encompass weddings by many diverse and disparate groups . These are Hindu weddings, Muslim Weddings , Christian weddings, Sikh Weddings, Buddhist weddings and Jain Weddings. There may be others such as mixed weddings. Indian Weddings are the : most Diverse Wedding in the world.   The Hindu marriage ceremonies vary in different regions and according to family traditions.    

 

2) Each religious group has sub-groups and accordingly weddings are varied and modified.

3) Further, there are  differences in wedding dresses ,decorations and traditions based on location (that is from which province the bride or bridegroom has come from?) Punjab has different dress code and wedding party traditions compared with Gujarat or Rajastan or Southern provinces (such as Kerala, TamilNadu, Andhra Pradesh)

4)   Indian populations who have migrated outside of India, vary their wedding rites as per local influences (which can be municipal constraints, acceptance or non – acceptance of Indian culture by local population of a country to which Indians may have emigrated to). Thus there are variations to wedding dress and celebratory functions to suit local environment.

5) Indian weddings also see variation/modification from each individual  priest  ( Purohits for Hindu/Jain , Mullahs for Muslims, and Priests for Christians). who carries out the ceremony. This is because most of the priests (at least Hindu/Jain) are trained by parents or grandparents (like on-the-job training). As the art and knowledge are passed down  from  generation to generation .

6) The form and style of Indian weddings (right across the board) are  changing influenced by demands of modern living and  the current environment in which the newly wed couple lives. It has happened many times that a groom lives (say in San Fransico in U.S. ) and bride comes from elsewhere such as  Kenya or India or other  parts of U.S. or American continent.    And the parents may be living at other part of the world.   Thus the age old traditions cannot be sustained and  quick modifications are implemented but keeping essentials of the traditional cermonies.

6) Most Indian weddings are sort of  relation between two families. The wedding would normally tie   two families for the life time (family of bridegroom and family of bride) apart from the actual couple who is getting married.

Hindu Wedding

There are certain commonality in Hindu weddings – no matter which group or sub-group (and from whichever part of India they come from) of Hindus celebrate weddings  of  their loved ones.

These are:

 1) A wedding is done in the presence of a fire (as a witness). A fire is considered very propitious and pure and has a haloed presence in Hindu religious traditions.

 2) In Hindu tradition, the new bride is considered an epitome of Goddess Laxmi (Goddess of Prosperity, wealth and good luck) and thus ceremonies are tuned to “a worship of the Goddess” and thus bride is  welcome (or annonited) at each stage of ceremony with reverance.

Note: In olden days or in orthodox families, all this euphoria would change once the bride becomes full member of the household and in reality nothing good happens or no wonderful breaks are attained by the family from her presence – to the detriment of the new daughter-in-law.

3) Hindu weddings are anchored in age old Sanskrit (ancient Indian language comparable to Latin) ceremonial “slokas” . The “slokas” are religious offerings to Gods/Godesses and ancestors for  invoking  favours, good omens and blessings for the newly wed.   The local language of the people involved is also used since most Hindus cannot understand Sanskrit in these days .

4) Hindu weddings are very particular in clearly specifying (demonstrating) to the newly weds their responsibilities as man & wife over the life span. The manner and style of specification may vary from group to group depending on the priest and the group (or sub-group)  to which the newly wed belongs

5) Traditionaly, Hindu weddings are carried out at the bride’s (parents) place (or at an identifed location) with bridegroom along with  his wedding party arriving  for the wedding.

These days (especially here in Canada and other western countries),  marriages are sometimes jointly organised by the wedding couple.  Their parents giving nominal but loving consent to their decision.

6) In Punjabi (north Indian) and Rajastani Hindu marriages in India, the bridegroom usually mount a horse or an elephant to arrive majestically to the bride’s parents home for wedding.

The Gujaratis normally do not have such tradition.   Gujarati groom usually comes in posh cars  

In Toronto, the north Indian marriages will see the groom mount a horse (a small distance near the place of wedding) when arriving at the wedding place. This tradition is NOW slowly but dfefinitely filtering to the Gujarati community. Well, this has given means of income to local horse owners.

Note: I will try to give a detailed description based on our Gujarati Hindu wedding ceremonies which we had for Nina and Sunjay in 2004. The following website LINK : http://www.shubhlagan.in/Traditions_Gujarati.asp  provides a bit more details and explanation.

Have you attended a wedding in the Indian culture?

Yes. We have attended many Indian Hindu weddings as we are Hindus and we have a long network association with many extended families and friends. The friends can be from  many different groups or sub-groups.

The wedding that I will refer to is Sunir’s sister (Nina Shah with Sunjay Mistry) during August of 2004.

Was this a traditional wedding or something different?

Yes and No. The wedding form & style  are changing based on amenities available and the current life style of the couple getting married .

Some basic  parts of traditon is normally  maintained except when time constraints and where family members are scattered all over and thus they cannot all attend the wedding.functions due to distance and other constraints.  

In basic sense , yes, most weddings we attended do follow the basic tradition – though we may NOT attend all the functions related to the wedding.

Nina’s wedding with Sunjay followed the basic  ceremonial structure  of a Gujarati Hindu traditional ceremony, normally followed by a diasporic (Indians who have moved away from India) Indian family.

When did this take place?

Traditionally, the wedding day and time is chosen by astrological combinations for good omens and for fending off any evils

However in modern times and outside India especially in Western Countries, sometimes this is ignored . For Nina/Sinjay wedding , the astrological phenomena was not explored much. Nina’s wedding was on  Saturday 28 Aug 2004. It turned out to be a very beautiful day with nice and clear warm sky.- though rain was forecast during these  days.

Where was it?

The wedding  ceremony  can be done at any appropriate but auspicious place where wedding couple can feel comfortable (with convenient location) and can invite their necessary family  members and friends

The ceremony usually takes place at a temple of choice  (i.e hall in the temple), commercial or community  halls (such as Sports club ) or hotels or outdoors under  a marquee near home or public places.

However, Nina’s (Sunir’s sister) wedding to Sunjay Mistry was at a  blueberry farm (Hugly’s at the outskirt of Pembroke) in the Ottawa Valley. Various wedding ceremonies were divided between  four (4)  locations..

The day before the actual   wedding day, her Wedding   Foundation ceremony was done at her parents home under an established marquee and a tent (in Deep River – about 45 km from Hugly’s blueberry farm).

Sunjay’s Wedding Foundation ceremony was done (about a week before) at his uncle’s place in Toronto.

The actual wedding ceremony was done under a marquee at the well set  and attractive Hugly’s blueberry farm at the outskirt of Pembroke. This included reception (just after the noon hour)  upon the completion of the Wedding ceremony .

In the evening after about 8.00 pm a celebratory party (welcoming of Nina as a newly married wife) was organised by Sunjay’s (groom’s) side at the Deep River Yacht Club . This was necessary to wrap up the “after wedding ceremonies” as per Hindu traditions at Sunjay’s (his parents) place. Since Sunjay’s sister and mom had come from U.K., they did not have luxury of time and place here in Canada to carry out such ceremonies at their actual place of residence. So a modification (for location) was effected by holding such ceremonies at Deep River Yacht Club.This allowed many guests who had travelled distences to attend the wedding to participate in the ensuing ceremonies.

Is this a typical place of an Indian wedding?

The choice of place that Nina/Sunjay made was NOT a typical place for an Indian wedding. However, the Hugly Farm owners were excited and  really took pride   that their place was chosen.The place was away from Ottawa (some 200 km) from where most items for wedding ceremony as well as  the Indain Caterers were brought in. The Hindu (Gujarati) Priest along with a Ph D educator (for translating the wedding rites in English for the benefit of all the guests) had to be motored from the Hindu temple in Ottawa.    

 

What  does the bride wear?

 

     

Gujarati marriage is a classic example of ethnicity, in which people dress up in beautiful rainbow colors. Gujarati wedding attire exhibits glimpses of their rich culture. Talking about the Gujarati wedding bridal wear, most Gujarati girls choose to wear a sari that is draped in the proper Gujarati style. During the ceremony, a Gujarati bride usually wears   a “panetar” as the wedding “sari.”   These days the fashion designers have come up with bridal “chania choli” in place of the “panetar”   Some brides do opt   to wear a bridal choli. So she can  wear a white blouse and lengha from the panetar choli. Then instead of the panetar chunri, she would wear  a maroon gharchola chunri with the same work as the “panetar” pieces. Then she will  have a separate white chunri (a sort of shawl) for her  head. This way it will look like it’s 1 outfit.
The bride also wears gold or silver jewellery and these days cosmetic jewellery to complete the wedding attire in Indian style.
The bride wears the “panetar” that is given by her maternal uncle, then a gharcholu sari on top of that, which is given by the groom’s family for good luck.
     

Gujarati weddings are still normally quite understated and subtle, though trends here in Toronto (and Canada)  are increasingly being influenced by North Indian culture.
Nina wore  traditional “panetar” – the sari worn during the wedding ritual ”” in its traditional   plain white  silk saree with a maroon border. Saree had self golden checks & pallav was in red color which has intricate design & also all over border with self design. Saree has matching blouse with   embroidery on its neckline
     

       

Nina  wore  gold  and cosmetic jewellery to complete the wedding attire in Indian style.

 

 

     

Nina bought her “panetar” in Toronto but many new brides go to India for selection and purchase of  their “panetar“.     Nina’s maternal Uncle & Auntie who came form Kenya paid for her panetar“.
     

What does the groom wear?
     

       

Wedding is a big day in everyone’s life be it girl or boy. For a guy wedding is the end of his bachelorhood. It marks the end of his carefree days of being the eligible bachelor. Wedding calls for more responsibilities and commitment. Not many grooms concentrate on planning their wedding outfits just as elaborately as the brides do and they really miss out on a lot of details

 

 

     

In a traditional Gujarati marriage, grooms opt for dhoti kurta. This type of wedding garb is now more or less extinct
In modern times and in metropolitan cities and in countries outside India,    for the modern men, the fashion designers are coming up with designer Gujarati “wedding bridegroom wear”  like indo-western kurta pyjamas.
In the western wear category, formal suits are becoming the choice of many.
For the main day wedding function a bridegroom  can opt for sherwanis, Jodhpuri suits,Kurta Pyjamas or Western suits. Sherwanis look stunningly regal because they fuse the best of eastern and western styling, they are the perfect attire for the wedding and also the reception. Shades of peach jamevar with touches of gold silver jari work or beiges and golds are more suitable than the traditional cream churidar kurta.        

     

 

Sunjay selected to wear a Sherwani  with shade of peach with touches of gold silver jari work -which looked regal  ,very attractive and distinct from what the guests wore.
     

What do the guests wear?
What does the wedding party wear?
     

Guests (including the wedding party) normally wear what is current in their cultural group(s) and/or what is prevalent in the society at large. In Canada, the western dresses or ethnic Indian dresses are worn by guests   There are no   particular rule or requirements what they wear except that clean, ironed and attractive garb to be worn.
Indian ladies usually wear sarees resplendent with their gold, diamond or cosmetic jewellery. Western ladies (who attend the wedding) wear western dresses (gowns). Some western ladies who are intimate with the new couple or their families wear sarees.  
Men  generally wear western suits with tie. Also some wear shirts and trousers depending on weather.
Note:
a) Guests wear  what one  normally  wears to a non-Indian wedding. The only clothing taboo to be aware of is that one  must take one’s   shoes off to enter a temple or the wedding canopy, so be prepared to leave them at the door.
b) Do try to make some allowances for comfort — it’s not uncommon for seating to be on the ground, so a tight suit or dress that doesn’t let you sit cross-legged might not be the best choice
During Nina/Sunjay wedding, all the above was evident.
     

What do the parents of the bride and groom wear?
     

Mother of the bride wears a new saree in cheerful colour (such as red, maroon, brown or green) with gold or silver motif embroidery. No black or white sarees are worn during the wedding functions   Black is representative of misfortune  and  white represents mourning.  

Father of the bride wears western suit  (newly tailored) or ethnic Indian dress.Normally  more expensive one to celebrate the wedding.    In some Indian groups, father and near relatives  also wear special wedding turbans which set them apart from the guests.

The above is true for the grooms parents.

For Nina/Sunjay wedding, Nina’s mom wore an attractive and cheerful  fuchia coloured saree with her gold ornaments and with a  big smile   Her father had a new suit with (most expensively tailored suit in his life). Sunjay’s mom also wore a cheerful saree with magnetic smile on her face.

Was there an engagement before the wedding?

Engagement ceremony is an integral   part of the wedding preparation in the Indian culture and tradition.

Many groups/sub-groups would not officially announce   engagement to the extended familiy members or friends unless a proper engagement ceremony is held; though the couple  may have made it official between themselves by very planned execution of wedding proposal by the young man and acceptance by the young lady – with youngman  putting an engagement ring on her finger.    

The engagement ceremony signifies that the “bride-to-be” is accepted by the family of the “groom-to-be” in presence of the the family of the “bride-to-be“as well as in the presence  of  some members of the community. The engagement ceremony also allows  the family of the  “bride-to-be” to ackowledge the acceptance of  “groom-to-be” as their kin and the  husband to their daughter.

Yes. Nina/Sunjay engagement ceremony was held in April 2004 (a few months before her wedding in August 2004). The ceremony was held at Nina’s parents home in Deep River,Ontario

If yes, how long was it?

The engagement ceremony takes about an hour (but not more than two hours)  but once the engagement ceremony is over there is feast along with  dinner and some socialising between two families and invited guests.

For Nina/Sunjay engagement it took about an hour and a half with dinner and the  feast afterwards.

Are bridesmaids a part of the traditional wedding ceremony in your culture?

     

Not traditionally but  in modern times the sisters and close cousins can be made part of the train which joins the  bride when she comes to the wedding “Mundap – a special canopy erected for the wedding  ”   The bride is usually escorted to the “Mandap” by her brother and maternal uncle.
Nina was escorted by her brother, Sunir and her maternal uncle who had especially come from Kenya to attend the wedding.   Her train of so called bridemaids included her  Auntie (wife  of her maternal uncle from Kenya) and her cousin who had come form U.S.A  .
     

How many bridesmaids does the bride usually have?
     

There is no special number but usually numbers are low as only immediate sisters (or sister’s daughters,if any) or immediate cousins would make the train of bridesmaids. However, in modern times relatives are scattered all over the globe and thus may not be present at the wedding. In that case bride’s close friends (most two or three) would be invited to become part  of the train to give moral support to the bride.
Note: There is no special dress code  required for so called bridemaids. They can be part of the train with their normal attire they had to attend the wedding.        

What gifts are typically given?      

     

This is an interesting question.
     

In modern times gift of cash (or cheques) is welcome as it helps to defray the cost of wedding. The cost, these days, are astronomical and can set the newly wed (and/or their parents) behind quite a bit. The amount should be an “auspicious” number ending in 1 — $51, $101, $201, $501, etc. (or similar numbers in rupees, pounds, or what  currencuy you have).
     

Beyond that , newly weds usually set a GIFT ACCOUNT with Bay or other commercial establishments for guests to pick a gift which can be fruitfully used by the new couple .
     

The parents (of bride and groom) and near relatives in Indian tradition normally give Gold/diamond jewellery, which remain forever and can become heirlooms for the couple in their lifetime.  
     

Some relatives give clothing (especially to the bride) such as sarees.
     

Other guests can buy whatever fancy them to give as gift.
     

The most important gift is warm prayers and blessings for the successful and healthy life of the new couple in the years to come.
     

How many guests are usually invited to the wedding?
The weddings in Toronto or other western countries usually  have from 200 to 400 guests.
     

In Kenya, when we (Nina’s parents) got married there were more than 2000 (yes, two thousands) guests . These days in Kenya the guest list goes beyond 2000 easily.
     

I am sure in India too, the guest list is extensive and atmosphere more festive than outside of India with bands, dances and music galore etc..
     

For Nina/Sunjay wedding in August, 2004 we had some 200 guests.        

Who are all these people (how are they related to the couple)?

 

The guests at the Hindu wedding in Toronto or any other western countries are a cross-section of family members and friends ( represnting multi-cultural aspect of the society). First guests are the family members (near and intimate ones). Then, the preference is given to the bride’s or groom’s friends (school,  university or workplace)  .  
After that parents’ friends (based on  their social life and inroads made to mutual invitation) are added on the list.
     

The number of guests are limited to the availabilty of the  space at the hall(s) where wedding is going to take place and reception to be organised.  
     

In India or Kenya (where there is a large Indian community) , the guests are mostly family members (also include all extended family members), friends of the family and commercial contacts. Bride and groom usually do invite  some of their friends but they form a small proportion of the guest list.
     

For NIna/Sunjay wedding, the guests represented most of  the good friends of the bride and groom and relatives who were  around   (or those who travelled from Toronto or overseas).  Also the some good neighbours or members of the local Indian Community were invited.  The mix of the guest list was multi-cultural – the Canadian Mosaic.
     

Please explain your favourite part of a Jain wedding.
     

Jainism dates to 600 B.C.
Jains, having shared the subcontinent with Hindus for more than 2,500 years, have developed a strikingly similar marriage tradition

The following is the most favourite and endearing part of the Jain Wedding.   It also permeates thru in the Hindu weddings.
hasta melap   ( hand clasping/holding)   :- The priest  places the bride’s hand into the groom’s. Linking the two together for life, he will say:        

“Aum Arham. O Jiva (living being) you are the one with soul. May you two become partners with the same time, mind, karma, shelter, body, action, love, desire, wishes, joy, sorrow, longevity, with the same hunger and thirst. May you have similar progress; may you enjoy the same good things; words, forms, scents, touch, ashrava, bandha, sanvara, nirjara, moksha (effects of karma). May you obtain a lasting relationship and unity by way of this joining of hands.”

.”

.”

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Durinng Nina/Sunjay wedding , which followed the Hindu Wedding rituals, the hasta milap (hand clasping/holding) was followed as per Hindu tradition. Added to that, a Jain universal prayer was also offered to all the spiritually advanced beings in the world.        

     

 

Are there any symbols used in the wedding? (i.e. ring represents never-ending love)
     

See the following LINK for the description of Short Hindu Wedding ceremony -which is becoming more prevalent in Canada and western countries as the wedding couple are nowadays  may not be from the same group and thus  from outside groups.  
     

There are some 4 critical moments in the modern Indian Hindu wedding.
     

1) Garlands to be exchanged by bride and groom   –   bride comes out carrying groom’s garland, escorted by her brother(s) and maternal uncle.
     

This is a new addition to the traditional Indian wedding and nowadays are followed even in India as modernity has encompassed everything.
     

The garland exchange  (prior to the  start of the religious Hindu ceremonies) between bride and groom signifies each one accepts the other as her/his life partner. This then allows (at least philosophically) to proceed with the ceremonies.
     

2) Rings to be exchanged by bride and groom
     

       

This is also a  new addition to the traditional Indian wedding and nowadays are followed even in India as modernity has encompassed everything.
The ring exchange  represents the same connotation as found in western Christian weddings. Thus signifies  promise of never-ending love between the couple.
3) Seven Final steps – called “Saptapadi”  (after  the Holy Steps circling the fire)  
The “Saptapadi” or seven steps is a very important ritual that makes up the Hindu wedding ceremony.
 Seven vows as the couple  takes the seven steps:
  1. May we be blessed with an abundance of food.
  2. May we be strong and complement one another.
  3. May we be blessed with prosperity.
  4. May we be eternally happy.
  5. May we be blessed with children.
    Idea: one “blended family” we know of changed this to “May the couple be blessed with obedient children.” 🙂
  6. May we live in perfect harmony.
  7. May we  always be the best of friends.
4)   Offering of  “Mangalsutra” (a special gold chain) by the groom to the bride  
     

“Manglesutra” or thread of good wihich is a necklace worn specifically by married women as a symbol of their marriage.          

Some muslim women (such as Konkani Muslims, Muslims from Hyderabad and also Christians  in india wear “Manglesutra” too.

Initially it was a thread that a bride and groom tied on each other signifying their union in good will. Now, the groom ties it around his bride’s neck to indicate that he receives her from her father and vows to be her husband

The most common “Manglesutra” is made of two strings of small black beads with a pendant, usually of gold. The black beads are believed to act as protection against evil. Married women wear this to protect their marriage and the life of their husband. In southern India, the “Manglesutra” is called ‘tali’. It is a small gold ornament, strung on a cotton cord or a gold chain.        

Traditionally, a married woman never removed her “Manglesutra” . If she became a widow, it was cut off. Nowadays however, this custom is not strictly applied, and not all married women wear a “Manglesutra“.

 

     

Note: the“Manglesutra” is not part of Punjabi culture.

It is kinda like the wedding ring in the west to show that the woman is married.
      

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Reading – The Key To Midnight by Dean Koontz

 

General Comment:As mentioned earlier on my April 19 2007 post, I have embarked on writing a few words on all the books that I may read in my retirement. I will reread few books which I read over last few years – this to allow me to capture some good essence from the readings.

The recent book I have completed reading is a book by Dean  Koontz  titled The Key To Midnight.. This book is paperback (some 420 pages long). Dean Koontz   has written many books with paranormal mental gifts  and post-hypnotic suggestions  as the main element in his stories. This  book about a woman (Joanna Rand) who had been a U.S. senator’s daughter,  whose whole personality has been altered by post-hypnotic suggestions  -by Russians (post-soviet work)to enhance Russia’s influence in America.  Before she was transformed to Joanna Rand, she was Lisa Chelgrin – daughter of   Tom Chelgrin, an inflenecial U.S. senator and who was  preparing and  getting ready to be elected as the president of U.S.     As a twist, Tom was one of the few Russians who were trained look alike  to Americans (who got caught in Vietnam) and the characters are  then transplanted to U.S. as teh oeriginal Americans.

I enjoyed the book as to how the post-hypnotic suggestion  is applied  and a   devious way . It provides shocking suspense & reveting terror.

This book I bought at Petawawa bookstore to keep me amused during the Christmas holidays.   I completed reading the book within a week – finishing on Friday 28 December 2007.

Pravin Shah

Book Reading – Flowers in the Blood by Gay Courter

General Comment:As mentioned earlier on my April 19 2007 post, I have embarked on writing a few words on all the books that I may read in my retirement. I will reread few books which I read over last few years – this to allow me to capture some good essence from the readings.

This book is  about Jews in India in the nineteenth century. Since my  ancestory is from India, the  book  is an important source for me  to understand   the  coming, acceptance and development of Jews in India  . Jews did well in India and Jews do     acknowledge that India is the only country in the world where they were not harassed or persecuted.

The author,Gay Courter,  has based the story on some real murder of Leah Judah on the first of October 1858 in Calcutta -a capital of British rule at that time in India. Calcutta was known as the City of Palaces. The book I read is a soft cover and has 630 pages.

The book provides the background of opium trade and related wars with China at that time  .  

This book was given to my wife by a lady (Annaliese) . Annaliese was a customer at  our store  run by my  wife    in Petawawa .  They became good friends and Annaliese spent many hours with my wife to talk about general happenings in life.

The author has developed the story based on true murder at that time but weaving in  some authentic incidents in India at that time. Very interesting book   and worth reading. She has provided description  of Opium and Tea Plantations in India at that time.

Pravin Shah

Book Reading – America (the Book) by The Daily Show with Jon Stewart

General Comment:As mentioned earlier on my April 19 2007 post, I have embarked on writing a few words on all the books that I may read in my retirement. I will reread few books which I read over last few years – this to allow me to capture some good essence from the readings.

I had earlier completed reading the book written and edited by The Daily Show (with Jon Stewart) – first published in September 2004. This book is a satirical/humorous book on American political system. Jon Stewart and his Satirical TV Program  “Daiily Show” is inspiration for material for this book.

The book is a large hardcover book ( some 220 pages). The book belongs to my son, Sunir who had lent me for reading.

I have now refreshed my absorption of the content of the book.   The book is structured as a  study guide for American democracy with some “classroom Activities”. A well illustrated book and fun to read.

 

In my opinion, this book is a must for those who are democrat in heart and enjoy satire for the workings  of a democratic government.

 

Pravin Shah

Book Reading – Collapse by Jared Diamond

General Comment:As mentioned earlier on my April 19 2007 post, I have embarked on writing a few words on all the books that I may read in my retirement. I will reread few books which I read over last few years – this to allow me to capture some good essence from the readings.

The recent book I have completed reading is a book by Jared Diamond titled  Collapse . This book is a follow up book to his earlier  one titled                                         ” Guns, Germs, and Steel”. This book I read a couple of weeks ago.    

I read the present book “Collapse” in Toronto at my son’s apartment when we visited  him for a few days   (starting on 03 November 2007). This is   the second book by Jared Diamond as a follow-up to his earlier book  ” Guns, Germs, and Steel”.

For his book ” Guns, Germs, and Steel”, the author was awarded the Pulitzer Prize.

The second book “Collapse” is quite a read re: what happens to societies who do not care for environmental degradation – brought on by deforestation, population explosion and general over indulgence . The author provides many examples of collapse of earlier human societies  including overlapping in our times.

It is in our interest to learn from  neglect of devastation of environment and resulting collapse of existing societies  when resources become scarce .   The scarcity of resources leads to wars and those with more advanced weapons do overpower the others with lesser weapons.

This book together with earlier book by the author “Guns, Germs & Steel” make     one to stop and think about the lifestyle that one can afford and which could lead to long survival of the human society.

Pravin Shah